Without You
by LittleBritishPerson
Summary: Ethan returns to work the day after his brother's death. Putting his emotions to the test.


**Hey all,**

 **Casualty was unbelievable last night! It felt so surreal. I woke up this morning with some inspiration on how Ethan will grieve. Might throw in a little bit of anger with his sadness.**

 **Enjoy!**

The morning after his brother's death, Ethan turned up for work. Why, he had no idea.

He walked through reception where all his colleagues went quiet as they saw him. Even Connie was wondering what the hell he was doing here.

Ethan looked around at everyone before going into the staffroom. Connie walked in after him.

"Ethan." Ethan turned around from his locker to face her. "What are you doing here? You should be on compassionate leave."

"Sorry, Mrs Beauchamp, but I don't need it. I need to work." Ethan held back his tears.

"No, Absolutely not-"

"Please, Mrs Beauchamp. I need to be here." Ethan's voice was firm. He had to be near where his brother laid last night.

"Okay." Connie spoke softly and kindly before leaving the staffroom.

Ethan stood in resus, staring at the bay where his brother was. Ethan shivered at the thought that his brother was most likely in post mortem than he would be put in a fridge until Ethan planned the funeral. He read about this stuff, the coroner could keep his brother's body for up to two weeks before releasing him for a funeral.

"Ethan?" A voice echoed as Ethan's thoughts were shaken. He saw Dr Gardner standing in front of him. Ethan looked down to see the file in his hand for the patient Elle was treating. He looked back at her.

"Sorry." Ethan's voice quavered.

"Don't apologise." Elle spoke kindly with a sad smile. "Go take a break. Get some fresh air." Elle slowly took the file from Ethan as he left resus.

"He should not be here, Charlie." Elle sighed as she approached their patient.

"I'll go talk to him. See if I can persuade him to go home." Charlie left resus.

Ethan stepped outside and walked over the gardens, forgetting for a moment that that was where his brother as viciously attacked. He saw already that news reporter were standing by an area where people were putting down flowers.

Ethan regretted watching the news this morning to see a headline reading: 'Holby Hospital Stabbing.'

Ethan pulled out his phone and saw something that didn't appear on his phone till now. It was a voice message. From Cal. Ethan quickly listened to it.

" _You have one new message._ " Ethan pressed 1 then placed his phone to his ear again. " _Message one, Saturday, April 29th 8.34pm: Ethan, how many times, right? That voicemail is not funny._ " Ethan couldn't help but give a light chuckle before returning to listen. " _Listen, are you still at work? Cos I think Scott is definitely after you, all right? Just...let me know you're okay. Right? Just be in touch, yeah?_ " Ethan started to think. Did Scott Ellison do this? Revenge for his dad dying? Or did Cal accidentally get involved?

Ethan thought no more as he ironically saw Scott Ellison walk towards the department. Seeing red, Ethan approached him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Ethan tried to keep his voice low.

"Come to sign the death certificate of my father. The one you let die." Scott sarcastically answered. Ethan didn't care for his excuse.

"You need to leave. Now." Ethan's voice grew firm.

"Who's going to stop me? You?" Scott smirked.

"You don't scare me. Not now. Not yesterday." Ethan's voice shivered.

"Careful, specks. You're brother isn't around to protect you now."

"Did you do it? Did you kill Cal?"

"Shame it wasn't you." Scott hissed.

"He died from a stab wound."

"I did him a favour. He doesn't have to have a scaredy cat like you for a brother. Bet he's glad he's gone." Ethan immediately lunged for him. Scott grabbed hold of him to pull him off.

"Oi! Stop that!" Sam Strachan and Charlie ran over to them. Sam pulled Ethan off him and Charlie stood in between them.

"He killed Cal!" Ethan shouted as Sam still restrained him from behind.

"He shouldn't of gotten in the way." Scott hissed as he walked away.

"You're just going to let him go?!" Ethan raised his voice at Charlie and Sam.

"Ethan. My office. Now." Sam sighed.

"Ethan. You have just been through a terrible ordeal. We may think it's a good idea to point the finger at this time but you're grieving." Sam explained as he and Connie sat in their office.

"No. Scott did it and Cal tried to protect me." Ethan stopped when he realised. "He tried to protect me..." Ethan's voice trailed. "Oh God, it should of been me. I'm the one Scott Ellison was after. Ethan leaned forward a little as he couldn't believe it.

"If this is the case, you can talk to the police." Sam spoke. "But, Ethan in the meantime-" Ethan stood up straight and looked at him. "Go home. You shouldn't be here."

Ethan didn't have the energy to debate. They were right. He shouldn't be here. The feud between him and Scott proved that.

Ethan carried his bag as he stood, looking at the pile of flowers again.

"Beautiful display, isn't it? Bit too colourful, thought" Ethan recognised that voice. He looked to his left to see Cal leaning against the wall looking towards the flowers in his work clothes and navy blue Holby City hoodie.

"C-C-Cal." Ethan stuttered. Cal looked at him then slowly walked over. "Are you a Ghost?"

"Come on, Nibbles. We don't believe in ghosts. I'm more of a figment of your imagination." Cal smiled down at his short brother.

"You died protecting me, didn't you?"

"Yes, Ethan. Scott was after you. I wasn't sure you were safe. I did hope you were though."

"You shouldn't of done that, Cal." Ethan sighed.

"You owe me one." Cal smiled as did Ethan. "Go on, you get home. You shouldn't be here as everyone keeps saying."

"Thank you, Cal."

"I'm always here, Nibbles." Cal then walked back to where he was standing, to the small door into the hospital.

"Ethan?" Ethan looked at Alicia then looked at the wall that Cal was leaning against. "You okay?"

Ethan looked back at the wall then back at Alicia. "I will be." Ethan smiled then began to walk away from the hospital.

 **And this was my little idea. I did want to add Cal's spirit in this as i love writing about stuff like this!**

 **See you all again soon : )**


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